Burning Bushes

For weeks now-- seems longer-- I've been earnestly praying that God would just align the stars to form the word "stay" or "leave" just so this whole 'call' decision would be over with.

Essentially, I've known what I wanted to do since Thanksgiving but one thing was holding me back-- would I be staying for the right reasons? That is, do I just want to stay to be with David even though our relationship isn't of a serious nature or do I want to stay to be part of this amazing church & ministry? But I really am more concerned with the David-factor. It's been hard trying to answer these questions. I've been hard on myself... trying to answer those honestly... talking to my friends and family about it...

Then yesterday I got an email from Michele Ludwig, who is one of my old youth leaders and also my Godson's mom. This is a direct quote from her email:
"Maybe God has put David in your life so you will not feel so isolated from family and friends. The emptiness is not as empty. If you think that way, then it's quite possible God wants you in Alaska. It's no coincidence that you ended up in Alaska after college. Your first mission trip was to Alaska. You were instrumental in arranging that mission trip for all of us. Life doesn't just happen, you know that."

Ding, ding, ding! Burning bush alert!

She's right. She's absolutely, positively right. The one thing holding me back is precisely what I need. I prayed so long for God to bring a friend into my life so I wouldn't suffer through the Alaskan winter alone... He sent David. And even if David and I never get to that "serious" marker in our relationship, that's okay. Because, life doesn't just happen.

2005 Already?!

It seems like just yesterday that I was driving up the Al-Can Highway with my mom enroute to Palmer for the first time. Now it's nearly January. It's crazy how fast 6 months goes by nowadays! Whew!

Christmas in California was great. It was nice to be with family for the holidays and it was nice to enjoy NoCal's "suspended snow"(a.k.a. fog). Being back there reaffirmed a few things-- that my sister is still the center of attention and that we're spoiled rotten! Not that I'm complaining...

Well, I'm in the midst of planning events and writing lessons... actually, that's what I'm supposed to be doing. Instead, I'm doing what I'm best at: procrastinating. Honestly though, I am thinking about the things I need to do!! PROMISE! Lessons and events aside, things here are going well. This next month is going to be a short one for me-- I have a two-day lock-in down in Homer over MLK, Jr weekend then I'm back in Palmer until after Confirmation on the 19th then it's off to Nebraska (via Oklahoma City!) for Mid-Year Conference at Concordia. I'm also teaching some Adult Bible study classes on Sunday morning (don't ask if I've planned those yet) and hoping to develop a training session for Children's Church. We'll see... I haven't had much interest.

Let's see... what else...

Well, for those of you who don't already know, I do have a boyfriend. (Shocking, I know!) David and I have been seeing each other since beginning of October and it's going great. If you want more information, please feel free to ask. We haven't really told anyone and have only recently agreed to let folks up here know about us. We've been trying to avoid as much ridicule as possible but are tired of omitting the truth from everyone! So, the truth is out. Yay!
(NOTE: I've posted a picture of the two of us below for those of you who are visual learners!)

I'm terribly excited about seeing my intern friends and my underclassmen friends in just a few weeks. I'm flying into OKC to spend some time prior to Mid-Year with Hannah and some time with Kristy, too. Then we're driving up to Omaha to pick up Jules to spend some quality time shopping at the various malls there. Then it's Mid-Year festivities time when I get to see all my other intern friends! Yay! Afterwards, the four of us (Hannah, Kristy, Jules and I) will drive through Topeka, spend some time there with the Shults family, then back to OKC so I can catch my Sunday night flight. It'll be a good time I'm sure. Can't wait!!

Alright. Enough updating. I hope each of you have an absolutely WONDERFUL, BLESSED and SAFE New Year! See you in 2005!!

David & Jamie

This is me and David back in October.

Christmas & Call Jitters

In the morning I'm leaving for a brief stay with my family for Christmas. The Rockey's offered to drive me to the airport and I, of course, accepted as to avoid paying $45 to park my car for four days. Turns out that BOTH Josh (23) & Andy (21) are going to drive me... gee, am I excited or what? I'm thinking about making Mary (16) get out of bed to protect me from the proddings of her older, nosier brothers. We'll see how that goes.

Nonetheless, I'm excited to go home to see the family for Christmas. It'll be our first Christmas without my Grandma "B" and our first Christmas in 11 years not in St Louis so I'm sure it'll be an interesting weekend. Not only will I have some time with my family but I will also be able to (hopefully) get some work done on my lesson plans (adult Bible study, confirmation) and calendars (jan-june) so I'm looking forward to that.

Other news... On Sunday, St John's held a voter's meeting to vote on a proposed job description and salary for yours truly. Turns out it was a unanimous vote. No one said they didn't want me, which is nice; but I was kinda hoping at least one person would say "no" just for fun :) No such luck. As for my decision on the call, I have until February 1st to decide if I'm designating/staying here or if I'd like to look for other options elsewhere. I have made a "reasons to stay/reasons to go" list but that's proving to be more difficult than it's worth. Namely because some items are weightier than others so it's not the most effective way of making a decision. Really, I just need to take some time to pray about all of it more earnestly than I have been... then maybe God'll give me that burning bush I've been waiting for. :)

Oh! Oh! Today is Winter Solstice... Darkest day of the year. Starting tomorrow we GAIN daylight :) WAHOO! We loose 7 seconds tonight, gain 4 tomorrow and my mid-February it should be pretty close to what y'all outsiders experience everyday. No S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) for me though :) Mostly thanks to my ever-busy schedule and GREAT people :) :) :)

Well, I hope each of you have an absolutely wonderful enlightening Christmas with your family and friends! Remember-- Jesus is the reason for the season! He's given us the greatest gift in the world-- eternal life & salvation... so what are you going to give Him in return? Think about it!

~Jamie

P.S. I just saw Finding Neverland yesterday... GREATEST MOVIE EVER!! I hightly recommend it!

This is supposed to be easy?!

It's been a full week since I last updated this thing. Not only has it been 7 days but a lot has been happening up here in Alaska-land. Things at church are going well. Confirmation is starting to suck the life out of me and I'm starting to notice some pretty severe attitude problems in class... I need to work on that so if you can help in any way I'd be elated!

St John's has decided to extend an official full-time call to stay here after internship, which is very exciting... until I started to really think about what that meant. If it was just up to me, I'd stay. Period. I'd stay because I love it here... so much. Not only this place, this land, but this church is amazing and the people are great. But it's not just up to me. I need to consult the Big Man upstairs in a BIG WAY to make sure that this is where he wants me for the next 5+ years of my life.

The other night, David was asking me all sorts of questions pertaining to this very topic-- the call that is. And believe it or not, I think he's more concerned about me making the right decision than I am. He wanted to make sure that he wasn't in the way of my ministry with my kids. He wanted to make sure that he wasn't taking time away from them. He wanted to make sure that even though we're in this "great, new" relationship that I wouldn't allow him to affect my decision in staying or leaving. Overall, it was a GREAT conversation. It honestly helped me to begin processing a lot of things. (Plus, Hannah says he gets points for bringing it all up :))

I think I'm going to start compiling a pros/cons list about staying or leaving... maybe then it'll be a bit more clear. (Then again, Hannah did the same thing and got 14 pros + 14 cons = no help)

Well, I'll stop thinking with my blog and let y'all go.

I hope you have a wonderful Advent season-- remember, it's all about Jesus!!

Blessed Sinner, that's me!

I have come to realize that I am most likely one of the most blessed people in the great big world we live in. I mean seriously, nothing horribly bad has ever happened to me (knock on wood) and things that have happened that were heart-breaking or sad, I've learned from. I'm just astounded as to how much God has blessed my life and my experiences... I can't help sitting here thinking "something bad's gonna happen. something bad HAS to happen." simply because life can't be this great. :)

My trip "home" was great. (I say "home" because it's not really where I consider my home but it's where my parents are so that's "home" enough for me!) Once I got some antibiotics and kicked his illness I had been fighting for 2.5 weeks, things were great. I go to laugh so hard at my sister that I pulled a muscle (Gotta LOVE that!) My mommy bought me 5 pairs of pants that actually fit me properly so I'm extremely excited about that! Not to mention that she bought be a BEAUTIFUL winter coat too... it's an orange peacoat... it's beautiful. I realize that I'm spoiled but I guess that's a blessing too! Anywho, being able to see my family was wonderful and I'm looking forward to possibly going home for Christmas too BUT I was glad to finally get back to Alaska.

I guess Alaska is my home now. I missed it SO much when I was in California. Not just the people here but the place and the air... and the space... I missed it. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and California is great for them but I love Alaska. It's funny but 7 months ago I would never have thought I'd hear myself say that but I do, I LOVE ALASKA! :)

Good news from Jamie's life:

• My friend Jen's romance is progressing nice and quickly. It's a good thing and I'm really very happy for her!
• Hannah has had an epiphany much like mine so she's practicing patience. I got to talk and pray with Hannah last week and I realized just how much I miss that girl! And all my girls for that matter!
• Talking to David last night, we discussed people we were thankful for and the first person that came to mind was Julianna. I mean, seriously people, I would be an emotional wreck without my vulcan friend Jules. I love her to death and can't wait to see her in January!
• Finally, it's Brad's 21st birthday tomorrow! So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRADLEY!! I'll love you forever :)

Okay I think that's random enough for today's blog. I'll update later :)

Jamie

Well I survived Paul's visit with flying colors. Mostly 3's and 4's on the eval so that's a good thing. He'll be coming back in May (my 11th month here!) with Margie for his final visit.

Other than that things here have been nuts. I'm getting ready to go home for Thanksgiving on Tuesday so this week has been filled with prepping lessons for the subs when I'm gone. I have a Jr High Lock-In tomorrow thru Saturday morning, for which I have yet to prepare my lesson. Sunday is Children's Message/Children's Church and I have yet to figure out how to fit Christ the King into it... HELP! And on top of all of this stuff, I'm getting sick and I literally had NO sleep last night for reasons that I could've controlled but didn't want to. (If you really want to know, IM me!)

I guess it's just that time in the internship where things are starting to get hectic and you start questioning things... or in my case, a lot of things. Like Hannah's blog says, I just need a hug from someone other than you-(probably)-know-who. Not that those aren't GREAT hugs... sometimes it's just important to have a hug from an old friend!

Would you guys just please pray for me? Pray that God grants me courage and words to deal with situations I need to deal with before they get any worse. Pray that really hard and continually until I ask you otherwise. Thanks...

I should get back to work. I love you guys! See some of you in January in good ol' Seward!

P.S. My friend, Sue Dimza, did pass away this week. The funeral was held today in St Louis. Please continue to pray for her family, fiancee, and especially her friend, Kelly, who is having an especially hard time with this.

AND... The Dinner Auction went well, for those of you wondering. We ended up making around $3,100 from it. It's not the best but it's not the worst. Not bad for my first auction ever!!

Alright. I'm in the midst of supervisor evaluation right now. Actually, as I'm typing this Paul isn't here at church yet so I guess I'm not technically in the middle of it. As soon as he gets here he'll meet with Pastor Rockey and then with us together over lunch. Then some lay people will be here (hopefully) to talk to him around 3.

You know, yesterday, I wasn't nervous at all. At least that was until I realized I was going to dinner alone with Paul and he was gonna ask me all sorts of questions. THEN I realized that these lay people he's talking to, though they like me, most likely will have criticisms and points to improve on... Don't get me wrong. I want them to. I need them to. I just don't like people talking about me, that's all.

Last night at dinner when he was asking me all those questions, he said that it was okay if we start talking about staying or leaving... so he pulled out St John's program application and pointed out that they aren't interesting in keeping the intern after internship. SHOCK. I guess I didn't realize that. I mean I really love it here. I fit in, which surprises me since I come from such a contemporary background and this is such a traditional church in comparison. But I guess I have to respect and understand that they may not want to keep me OR they may not be able to afford to keep me. It's just something I haven't thought of... But now, I have to prepare myself for the talk Paul, Pastor Rockey and I will have where that will be one of the topics.

Anywho, besides Paul being here not much else is going on. I'm keeping busy (duh!). This weekend I'm taking a few kids to a lock-in and then next weekend I'm taking 30 middle schoolers to a lock-in where I'm teaching a 1/2 hour session on relationships. Then it's our yearly voters meeting and THEN I get to go HOME for Thanksgiving!! :) It's only for 6 days or so but I'm happy just the same. I miss my mommy and daddy... and my Hershey... and I get to meet their new cat Raja. I have yet to find someone to take me to and pick me up from the airport so I don't have leave my car there... I'll find someone eventually... we'll see.

So, I'll stop rambling now. I'll update again after Paul and I debrief this afternoon to let y'all know how it went :) Later!

Quick update from last time:

1.
So, Sue hasn't passed away yet. I misunderstood Brad's away message. As far as I know she's still in a coma but getting better. They've been talking about taking her into surgery to fix some of the problems the accident caused. So-- keep praying for her and her friends or family... especially her fiance!

2.
Things for the Dinner Auction are going well. My office is a complete and total mess. So much so that every time I walk in it feels like I'm getting a migraine. So in an effort to better that situation I'm attempting to organize it. The kids are coming in on Tuesday to help. I'm gonna put them to work entering the items into the computer and deciding which items should be put up for live auction and which are for silent auction. Which reminds me, I need to get an auctioneer... crap...

3.
Personal life is alright. I'm not suffering the lonliness I thought I might be at this point in the year. Though it goes without saying that I miss my friends dearly! BUT- only 12 more weeks until I get to see my girls and the other interns so that's pretty exciting.

Oh! I get to go home for Thanksgiving so I'm pretty excited about that. We have a silly tradition in the Jennemann household-- we're those crazy folk who are up and out of the house at 5:30am the day after Thanksgiving banging on the doors to get in for the Early Bird Sales :) It really is a lot of fun. Plus we get all of our Christmas shopping done that day-- who could ask for more?! I have been nearly beat-up several times but that just makes the day more fun.

One more thing- my University Supervisor, Paul Schoepp, is coming up to visit Nov 10-12 so pray for me!

4.
Other than that, things are going well. If you'd like to hear more please call or email or write me! I'd love to hear from you!

SIDE STORY: Just to prove to y'all how much I enjoy getting mail... I got a postcard from my friend Mike Clair ("Tex" from camp) who's in Rochester, NY and I literally did a little dance at the mail box. Yeah. Embarrassing but true. So, if you want to make me do a little dance, SEND ME MAIL!

Okay that's it. I'll update later :)

~Jamie

It's been two weeks and things are still going well. My first official confirmation lesson is tomorrow so we'll see how that goes with the 30-some-odd children I have in my class.

Other than that, things in the Great Land are going well. I truly am enjoying myself. Right now we're in the midst of an amazingly busy two weeks. I'm busy every night this week with church things (home visits, meetings, bible study, youth activities) not to mention the piles of things entering my office on a daily basis for the Auction to occur on November 6th. It's a good thing but you know how I am about clutter... EEK!

I got some bad news yesterday about my friend Sue from back home in St Louis. She passed away yesterday as a result of a bad car accident in which she failed to wear her seat belt. Pray for her family and friends. (PLEASE WEAR YOUR SEAT BELTS!! I DON'T WANT MORE BAD NEWS!!)

Personal life is going well. My prayers for a cure from my loneliness have been answered and I couldn't be happier. My friend April is coming home this weekend from Montana so maybe I could squeeze-in seeing her sometime on Saturday.

If you want to know anything else about my oh-so-exciting existence in Alaska, call or email me.

~Jamie

Count down to Confirmation 2004-2005: 1 hour!!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Okay, now that that's out. Confirmation starts here at 2:30. Kids start arriving a little after two. The good thing about today is that I don't technically have to teach. We're doing joint classes today (8th-7th-6th grades together) because the 7th grade teacher is outside*(see below for meaning) AND next week Pastor Rockey and I will both be gone so it'll be a riveting day of watching an old school Luther movie :)

Teaching for me offically starts on October 20th. Right now I have 22 kids on my roster and we're expecting more... PLUS I have no volunteers helping me right now... so it's me and 22 6th graders locked in a small confined space... whew! not sure I can handle that! :-/

Other than that things are going well. Say a quick prayer for me today so I survive confirmation. Also, pray for guidance in the personal realm too. Things outside of church are turning out to be a bit more complicated than planned.

Off to prep for confirmation!

~Jamie

definition: OUTSIDE: n. (slang) Alaskan word for lower 48; outside of Alaska

These last six weeks have been absolutely crazy. What with Sunday School starting, youth programs picking up, confirmation stuff beginning and a plethora of other things, I have been blessedly busy around here. But don't let that fool you! I'm still the Queen of Procrastination-- for example, confirmation starts October 6th. I'm teaching 6th grade (Bible history & catechism). Have I started lesson planning? Negatory! Nothing changes, I guess :)

Today, September 21st is the Equinox, which means daylight and darkness are equal today. Fresh snow fell on the mountains last night. It finally hit Lazy Mountain which means it's only two more snow-falls from hitting the valley floor. Am I ready?! Of course not. Please refer back to the Queen of Procrastination comment. However, I am getting more active. Since I'm not able to hike much anymore (with the snow and all) I joined Curves here in Palmer and have been working out 4-5 days a week for two weeks. It feels good and I can actually feel muscles-- imagine that! Oh- small fact that you friends might enjoy. You know how my calves are so huge? Yeah well, they don't fit in some of the machines they're so big... welcome to my life!

Well, it's going on four months here. So far I love it. The people are awesome. We'll see how much I like it when it's dark 23 hours a day-- I'll keep you updated. My parents are trying to convice me to come home to Cali for a few days after Christmas. I'll have to talk to my pastor before I decide anything but I think I'd like that very much. But even if I don't see my parents I get to see all my fellow interns in January and get to road-trip with Hannah and Julianna before it so that'll be fun.

I should get working! Love you all!

~Jamie

A lot has happened since my last post. Not only have I turned the big 2-2 ;) But we had a VERY successful trip to Florida for the National Youth Gathering. My kids actually believe me now that I have friends... y'all may not be up here but at least now the kids realize I'm not a complete loser! Overall the NYG was a life impacting event for many of my 31 kids and 8 adults. Good times were had by all! By the way, it was SOOOOOO nice seeing some of you there! At least we Lutherans can always count on a pseudo-reunion every 3 years!!

As for everything else, things in the office are starting to pick up. I'm working right now on finishing things up for the return service for NYG folk. I've also got things like fall/winter event planning, confirmation, sunday school, weekday school, young adult group and several other things currently piling on my desk... so, while I'm at work, I'm busy. And I'm a strong believer in not bringing work home-- although that'd probably make my homelife a little more exciting!

Hiking ministry, in general, is going well. We just finished about 10 miles yesterday to Twin Peaks. My feet are pretty tore-up so I can only do so much of the near-vertical climb so I didn't go quite 10 miles but hopefully next week (Black Tail Rocks, approx. 10 miles again) I'll have shoes and socks that don't make my feet one giant blister!

Oh! The other big news: It's FALL in Alaska. Yep, fall comes in August up here. Quite the rude awakening for me but it's also my favorite season of all time! 'Course this means that winter and 23 hours of darkness is just around the corner... eek! I'll let you know when that happens!

ALSO: There's a volcano here that's preparing to erupt. Mt Spur let a 20 mile wide ash cloud go today which the scientists are calling "small"... I don't know about you but 20 miles doesn't sound or look small. Eh.

Alright, that's it. Things are good here. Love it still. Talk to y'all later!
~Jamie

This'll be a quick update...
 
I've only been in the office twice this week-- Tuesday and Friday. I'm super tired from our activities Wednesday and Thursday but I'll have to come in tomorrow to finish up some loose ends... like children's church...
 
I had my first official home visit this week. It went well and I actually ate carrotts! Not only that but I ate the mushrooms too!! AND, I didn't gag or die or anything!! It might've been the fact that they were soaked in soy sauce but nevertheless I ate them and you should be PROUD!! :)
 
We leave Tuesday for the youth gathering so things here are starting to speed up. I've still got change to count (Saturday event) and deposit, commissioning (Sunday) and some other things to tie up before we go. But it's all worth it. I love youth gatherings and I can't wait to go and maybe see my friends from school and St Louis :)
 
Alright. I'm going home. Not sure what I'll do there but I hope it'll be relaxing. Maybe I'll get an unexpected phone call from a fabulous friend (hint, hint).
 
~Jamie

It's finally Friday! Not that this week has been horrible, it's just that Friday's always seem a bit better than the other days :)

This week went quickly actually. Our Wednesday hike was supposed to be to the base of Matanuska Peak, a mere 4 miles one way... but me being me decided to tackle the actual peak which involved another 4 miles (round trip) that was nearly all verticle... Now, although my name is in the official sign-in book on the top, I didn't reach it-- 1,000 feet shy!!-- but the loose shale was started to scare the blankety-blank out of me. You get the picture. Needless to say, I feel muscles in my legs I never knew were there... and, if you can believe it, my calves are more buff! I know!! But it's true ;)

Let's see... this weekend we have our final National Youth Gathering meeting then next week while I'm preparing for the children's message and children's church and commissioning service on the 18th, I'm also taking kids on a day trip to Soldotna to visit the only DQ in the entire state (that's 4 hours away... wish me luck!). Busy week but then I get to go to the Gathering which I'm totally psyched about! We're leaving Anchorage on my birthday (that's the 20th for those of you who can't remember!) and coming back on the 31st. We're part of the DELI gathering which is why we're so early...

Anywho, I'm starting to get very lonely here in the great state of Alaska so PLEASE send me an email, or snail mail, or CALL ME... something... please... :)

~Jamie

Things are still going pretty smoothly. I've offically survived the week of VBS complete with youth activities every night! Never again, might I add! This week in comparison, then, has been very slow. My pastor has actually been on vacation so that's why its been slow but I'm sure he'll take care of that when he gets back on Sunday.

I've officially co-started a hiking ministry that we kicked off with an 11 mile jaunt to Symphony Lakes, which was the easiest hike I've been on thus far. Actually, it was so easy that I actually ran about 1.5 miles of it (it was flat and my knees had words with me afterwards so no sly comments). Next Wednesday we're tackling Matanuska Peak so I'll let you know how that goes... if nothing else my legs will be buff. :)

Other than that, not much going on here. I haven't really met anyone my age so I'm thinking about starting a 'social ministry' (thanks to micah steiner's article @ youthesource.com) that involves young adults going to bars for drinks and pizza... sounds like a ministry I could get used to! J/K Or maybe I'll just find people to go to a movie with... I'd settle for that! haha

Well, I'll let the three of you who actually read this go. Later!

~Jamie

First official entry as DCE Intern at St John's... WOW! It's been crazy since I arrived in Palmer last Tuesday. Mostly it's been full of moving in and moving things around. I'm here today to officially start my job... I meet with my pastor in 45 minutes or so which will be followed quickly by a staff meeting. After that I think Sara (my "assistant") will be coming in to help me figure out exactly what I'm supposed to be doing... so that'll be exciting.

Other than that life is great. The kids I've met so far are awesome and I have a great office-- no room for my books as of yet but I'll get there eventually. (Right now all my books are still in the boxes and crates in the middle of my apartment floor... yes, they're in the way but it's a reminder to get off my butt and do something!)

More later!

Okay. No more pouty face here! :)

The good news is that I've made a conscious decision to stop over-analyzing every little detail about my internship opportunity. I've been praying about it a lot these past couple days after some very, very good friends expressed some concern about me not being myself... then in class we talked about over-analyzing situations... and at this DCE Symposium we talked about spirituality or the lack thereof... and all of a sudden it hit me "This is all my fault!"

I made this anxiousness and fear for myself. No one did it for me. So I knew I had to get myself out of it... so, although I'm still working on pieces of it, I'm out! And it's great! :)

I'm looking forward to being an intern at St John's in Palmer, Alaska. Even though it's REALLY far away from my family (California & Missouri) and my friends (Oklahoma, Nebraska, Florida, California, Colorado, Michigan) I know that I can survive anything with Christ as my guide... at least that's what I keep telling myself. Right now I'm in this place somewhere between elated and terrified. I'm excited to start my ministry and to figure out exactly what a DCE is and does... I'm terrified for many reasons:

-being so far away from everyone I know, love and trust
-living in a place so different from what I'm used to
-being unsure if DCE ministry is truly what God wants me to do... which leads to the wondering of the H-- I'd be doing if I wasn't a DCE
-sleeping in a bed that's not my own
-leaving all my furniture and all the comforts of the home I've made here...

I guess that's a seemingly long list that I really honestly could go on to cover the distance from here to there... I don't know... I think I'm just anxious and worried that this congregation won't fit me and/or I won't fit what this congregation wants in a DCE...

I'm sure all this anxiousness will go away eventually and that a year from now I'll look at this entry and laugh at how silly I was about this whole thing. Right now, it's only a year; A year from now, it might be longer. Who knows...