Okay. No more pouty face here! :)

The good news is that I've made a conscious decision to stop over-analyzing every little detail about my internship opportunity. I've been praying about it a lot these past couple days after some very, very good friends expressed some concern about me not being myself... then in class we talked about over-analyzing situations... and at this DCE Symposium we talked about spirituality or the lack thereof... and all of a sudden it hit me "This is all my fault!"

I made this anxiousness and fear for myself. No one did it for me. So I knew I had to get myself out of it... so, although I'm still working on pieces of it, I'm out! And it's great! :)

I'm looking forward to being an intern at St John's in Palmer, Alaska. Even though it's REALLY far away from my family (California & Missouri) and my friends (Oklahoma, Nebraska, Florida, California, Colorado, Michigan) I know that I can survive anything with Christ as my guide... at least that's what I keep telling myself. Right now I'm in this place somewhere between elated and terrified. I'm excited to start my ministry and to figure out exactly what a DCE is and does... I'm terrified for many reasons:

-being so far away from everyone I know, love and trust
-living in a place so different from what I'm used to
-being unsure if DCE ministry is truly what God wants me to do... which leads to the wondering of the H-- I'd be doing if I wasn't a DCE
-sleeping in a bed that's not my own
-leaving all my furniture and all the comforts of the home I've made here...

I guess that's a seemingly long list that I really honestly could go on to cover the distance from here to there... I don't know... I think I'm just anxious and worried that this congregation won't fit me and/or I won't fit what this congregation wants in a DCE...

I'm sure all this anxiousness will go away eventually and that a year from now I'll look at this entry and laugh at how silly I was about this whole thing. Right now, it's only a year; A year from now, it might be longer. Who knows...