Burning Bushes

For weeks now-- seems longer-- I've been earnestly praying that God would just align the stars to form the word "stay" or "leave" just so this whole 'call' decision would be over with.

Essentially, I've known what I wanted to do since Thanksgiving but one thing was holding me back-- would I be staying for the right reasons? That is, do I just want to stay to be with David even though our relationship isn't of a serious nature or do I want to stay to be part of this amazing church & ministry? But I really am more concerned with the David-factor. It's been hard trying to answer these questions. I've been hard on myself... trying to answer those honestly... talking to my friends and family about it...

Then yesterday I got an email from Michele Ludwig, who is one of my old youth leaders and also my Godson's mom. This is a direct quote from her email:
"Maybe God has put David in your life so you will not feel so isolated from family and friends. The emptiness is not as empty. If you think that way, then it's quite possible God wants you in Alaska. It's no coincidence that you ended up in Alaska after college. Your first mission trip was to Alaska. You were instrumental in arranging that mission trip for all of us. Life doesn't just happen, you know that."

Ding, ding, ding! Burning bush alert!

She's right. She's absolutely, positively right. The one thing holding me back is precisely what I need. I prayed so long for God to bring a friend into my life so I wouldn't suffer through the Alaskan winter alone... He sent David. And even if David and I never get to that "serious" marker in our relationship, that's okay. Because, life doesn't just happen.

2005 Already?!

It seems like just yesterday that I was driving up the Al-Can Highway with my mom enroute to Palmer for the first time. Now it's nearly January. It's crazy how fast 6 months goes by nowadays! Whew!

Christmas in California was great. It was nice to be with family for the holidays and it was nice to enjoy NoCal's "suspended snow"(a.k.a. fog). Being back there reaffirmed a few things-- that my sister is still the center of attention and that we're spoiled rotten! Not that I'm complaining...

Well, I'm in the midst of planning events and writing lessons... actually, that's what I'm supposed to be doing. Instead, I'm doing what I'm best at: procrastinating. Honestly though, I am thinking about the things I need to do!! PROMISE! Lessons and events aside, things here are going well. This next month is going to be a short one for me-- I have a two-day lock-in down in Homer over MLK, Jr weekend then I'm back in Palmer until after Confirmation on the 19th then it's off to Nebraska (via Oklahoma City!) for Mid-Year Conference at Concordia. I'm also teaching some Adult Bible study classes on Sunday morning (don't ask if I've planned those yet) and hoping to develop a training session for Children's Church. We'll see... I haven't had much interest.

Let's see... what else...

Well, for those of you who don't already know, I do have a boyfriend. (Shocking, I know!) David and I have been seeing each other since beginning of October and it's going great. If you want more information, please feel free to ask. We haven't really told anyone and have only recently agreed to let folks up here know about us. We've been trying to avoid as much ridicule as possible but are tired of omitting the truth from everyone! So, the truth is out. Yay!
(NOTE: I've posted a picture of the two of us below for those of you who are visual learners!)

I'm terribly excited about seeing my intern friends and my underclassmen friends in just a few weeks. I'm flying into OKC to spend some time prior to Mid-Year with Hannah and some time with Kristy, too. Then we're driving up to Omaha to pick up Jules to spend some quality time shopping at the various malls there. Then it's Mid-Year festivities time when I get to see all my other intern friends! Yay! Afterwards, the four of us (Hannah, Kristy, Jules and I) will drive through Topeka, spend some time there with the Shults family, then back to OKC so I can catch my Sunday night flight. It'll be a good time I'm sure. Can't wait!!

Alright. Enough updating. I hope each of you have an absolutely WONDERFUL, BLESSED and SAFE New Year! See you in 2005!!

David & Jamie

This is me and David back in October.

Christmas & Call Jitters

In the morning I'm leaving for a brief stay with my family for Christmas. The Rockey's offered to drive me to the airport and I, of course, accepted as to avoid paying $45 to park my car for four days. Turns out that BOTH Josh (23) & Andy (21) are going to drive me... gee, am I excited or what? I'm thinking about making Mary (16) get out of bed to protect me from the proddings of her older, nosier brothers. We'll see how that goes.

Nonetheless, I'm excited to go home to see the family for Christmas. It'll be our first Christmas without my Grandma "B" and our first Christmas in 11 years not in St Louis so I'm sure it'll be an interesting weekend. Not only will I have some time with my family but I will also be able to (hopefully) get some work done on my lesson plans (adult Bible study, confirmation) and calendars (jan-june) so I'm looking forward to that.

Other news... On Sunday, St John's held a voter's meeting to vote on a proposed job description and salary for yours truly. Turns out it was a unanimous vote. No one said they didn't want me, which is nice; but I was kinda hoping at least one person would say "no" just for fun :) No such luck. As for my decision on the call, I have until February 1st to decide if I'm designating/staying here or if I'd like to look for other options elsewhere. I have made a "reasons to stay/reasons to go" list but that's proving to be more difficult than it's worth. Namely because some items are weightier than others so it's not the most effective way of making a decision. Really, I just need to take some time to pray about all of it more earnestly than I have been... then maybe God'll give me that burning bush I've been waiting for. :)

Oh! Oh! Today is Winter Solstice... Darkest day of the year. Starting tomorrow we GAIN daylight :) WAHOO! We loose 7 seconds tonight, gain 4 tomorrow and my mid-February it should be pretty close to what y'all outsiders experience everyday. No S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) for me though :) Mostly thanks to my ever-busy schedule and GREAT people :) :) :)

Well, I hope each of you have an absolutely wonderful enlightening Christmas with your family and friends! Remember-- Jesus is the reason for the season! He's given us the greatest gift in the world-- eternal life & salvation... so what are you going to give Him in return? Think about it!

~Jamie

P.S. I just saw Finding Neverland yesterday... GREATEST MOVIE EVER!! I hightly recommend it!

This is supposed to be easy?!

It's been a full week since I last updated this thing. Not only has it been 7 days but a lot has been happening up here in Alaska-land. Things at church are going well. Confirmation is starting to suck the life out of me and I'm starting to notice some pretty severe attitude problems in class... I need to work on that so if you can help in any way I'd be elated!

St John's has decided to extend an official full-time call to stay here after internship, which is very exciting... until I started to really think about what that meant. If it was just up to me, I'd stay. Period. I'd stay because I love it here... so much. Not only this place, this land, but this church is amazing and the people are great. But it's not just up to me. I need to consult the Big Man upstairs in a BIG WAY to make sure that this is where he wants me for the next 5+ years of my life.

The other night, David was asking me all sorts of questions pertaining to this very topic-- the call that is. And believe it or not, I think he's more concerned about me making the right decision than I am. He wanted to make sure that he wasn't in the way of my ministry with my kids. He wanted to make sure that he wasn't taking time away from them. He wanted to make sure that even though we're in this "great, new" relationship that I wouldn't allow him to affect my decision in staying or leaving. Overall, it was a GREAT conversation. It honestly helped me to begin processing a lot of things. (Plus, Hannah says he gets points for bringing it all up :))

I think I'm going to start compiling a pros/cons list about staying or leaving... maybe then it'll be a bit more clear. (Then again, Hannah did the same thing and got 14 pros + 14 cons = no help)

Well, I'll stop thinking with my blog and let y'all go.

I hope you have a wonderful Advent season-- remember, it's all about Jesus!!

Blessed Sinner, that's me!

I have come to realize that I am most likely one of the most blessed people in the great big world we live in. I mean seriously, nothing horribly bad has ever happened to me (knock on wood) and things that have happened that were heart-breaking or sad, I've learned from. I'm just astounded as to how much God has blessed my life and my experiences... I can't help sitting here thinking "something bad's gonna happen. something bad HAS to happen." simply because life can't be this great. :)

My trip "home" was great. (I say "home" because it's not really where I consider my home but it's where my parents are so that's "home" enough for me!) Once I got some antibiotics and kicked his illness I had been fighting for 2.5 weeks, things were great. I go to laugh so hard at my sister that I pulled a muscle (Gotta LOVE that!) My mommy bought me 5 pairs of pants that actually fit me properly so I'm extremely excited about that! Not to mention that she bought be a BEAUTIFUL winter coat too... it's an orange peacoat... it's beautiful. I realize that I'm spoiled but I guess that's a blessing too! Anywho, being able to see my family was wonderful and I'm looking forward to possibly going home for Christmas too BUT I was glad to finally get back to Alaska.

I guess Alaska is my home now. I missed it SO much when I was in California. Not just the people here but the place and the air... and the space... I missed it. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and California is great for them but I love Alaska. It's funny but 7 months ago I would never have thought I'd hear myself say that but I do, I LOVE ALASKA! :)

Good news from Jamie's life:

• My friend Jen's romance is progressing nice and quickly. It's a good thing and I'm really very happy for her!
• Hannah has had an epiphany much like mine so she's practicing patience. I got to talk and pray with Hannah last week and I realized just how much I miss that girl! And all my girls for that matter!
• Talking to David last night, we discussed people we were thankful for and the first person that came to mind was Julianna. I mean, seriously people, I would be an emotional wreck without my vulcan friend Jules. I love her to death and can't wait to see her in January!
• Finally, it's Brad's 21st birthday tomorrow! So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRADLEY!! I'll love you forever :)

Okay I think that's random enough for today's blog. I'll update later :)

Jamie