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Friday, September 22, 2006

Hateful Decisions

It's been a while since I actually posted something personal on this thing. I mean football articles and 9-11 poems might suffice for some of you but others deserve more. And no I won't talk about Rick Springfield (though he IS sexy...) but I will be referencing one of my past posts. Just as a warning to any of my kiddos who read this-- Sorry if it's TMI! Stop reading here if you don't want to know!


Around the middle of August I blogged about a certain question that has been on my mind for a few months, especially since my roommate started dating our friend Chad (aren't they cute?!). Deciphering between what my head was saying (ie I miss the idea of him) and what my heart wanted (ie I miss him) has been difficult, and much to the dismay of many people (myself included!) I've successfully decided... and I hate my decision.

I don't want to miss him. I don't want to miss any part of it, but I do. I hate it because I know that he doesn't feel the same way. Even though that crushes me, I'm the kind of person that just can't let people run away from her. Jules says so, so it must be true. It's an admirable quality- fighting for ones friends- but really, where does the admiration stop and annoyance begin?

I know that I should take the advice of some wonderful girls (you know who you are!) and agree to actually meet Eagle-River-Guy but I'm hestiant. More than hesitant, really. Stubborn is more like it. I'm holding onto this ideal that's forcing me out of living my life. I'm holding onto my idea of what I want and it's not leaving any room for what God wants for me. And at this point, I'm not sure if I care what God wants. It's a horrible thing to say. I know He wants nothing but the best of the best for me. He would never let me down. But maybe I'm not worried about Him letting me down... it's the reverse. Wow... I've already let Him down so much that I'm afraid if I let go of this situation I'll just disappoint Him more. I know He doesn't work like that but sometimes it feels that way.

I need you to know that it's not Chad & April's fault I feel this way. It's not Jules or Hannah or Kristy. It's not Bristol (my other roommate). It's not even David or Josh (aka Eagle-River-Guy). It's me plain and simple. And since it's not someone elses issue, I'm not sure how to deal with it. Just be aware that I don't want him to know I miss him... I think him knowing would only make it worse. It'll get figured out. I'll move on. It's just going to take much longer than I had initially hoped.

Gonna Be A Bear


In this life, I'm a woman.
In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate expects you to wake up growling. He expects that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Two Thousand and One, Nine Eleven

Two thousand one, nine eleven
Three thousand plus arrive in heaven
As they pass through the gate,
Thousands more appear in wait

A bearded man with stove pipe hat
Steps forward saying, "Lets sit, lets chat"
They settle down in seats of clouds

A man named Martin shouts out proud
"I have a dream!" and once he did
The Newcomer said, "Your dream still lives."

Groups of soldiers in blue and gray
Others in khaki, and green then say
"We're from Bull Run, Yorktown, the Maine"
The Newcomer said, "You died not in vain."

From a man on sticks one could hear
"The only thing we have to fear.
The Newcomer said, "We know the rest,
Trust us sir, we've passed that test."

"Courage doesn't hide in caves
You can't bury freedom, in a grave,"
The Newcomers had heard this voice before
A distinct Yankees twang from Hyannisport shores

A silence fell within the mist
Somehow the Newcomer knew that this
Meant time had come for her to say
What was in the hearts of the five thousand plus that day

"Back on Earth, we wrote reports,
Watched our children play in sports
Worked our gardens, sang our songs
Went to church and clipped coupons
We smiled, we laughed, we cried, we fought
Unlike you, great we're not"

The tall man in the stovepipe hat
Stood and said, "Don't talk like that!
Look at your country, look and see
You died for freedom, just like me"

Then, before them all appeared a scene
Of rumbled streets and twisted beams
Death, destruction, smoke and dust
And people working just 'cause they must

Hauling ash, lifting stones,
Knee deep in hell, but not alone
"Look! Blackman, Whiteman, Brownman, Yellowman
Side by side helping their fellow man!"

So said Martin, as he watched the scene
"Even from nightmares, can be born a dream."

Down below three firemen raised
The colors high into ashen haze
The soldiers above had seen it before
On Iwo Jima back in '45

The man on sticks studied everything closely
Then shared his perceptions on what he saw mostly
"I see pain, I see tears,I see sorrow -- but I don't see fear."

"You left behind husbands and wives
Daughters and sons and so many lives
Are suffering now because of this wrong
But look very closely. You're not really gone.
All of those people, even those who've never met you
All of their lives, they'll never forget you
Don't you see what has happened?
Don't you see what you've done?
You've brought them together, together as one.

With that the man in the stovepipe hat said
"Take my hand," and from there he led
Three thousand plus heroes,
Newcomers to heaven

On this day, two thousand one, nine eleven
Author UNKNOWN

Friday, September 08, 2006

A Girls' Priorities

For those of you who know me well, you know that the only thing I hate about my job & living in Alaska is that I miss 75% of all NFL football games-- if only they'd move all their games to Thursdays... So, in an effort to help those of you understand exactly what I LOVE about being a part of this season, of being the 12th man on the field, here is exactly what happens during the season...

If you somehow manage to watch every regular-season game, you will witness about 1,100 touchdowns, 600 of them passing, 400 rushing and another 100 on defense and special teams. You'll also see 900 field goals and about a dozen safeties. You'll enjoy almost 10,000 completed passes and 9,000 first downs. If you like defense, you're in luck: a typical NFL season features roughly 1,200 sacks and 500 interceptions.

But an NFL season isn't all touchdowns, sacks and excitement. Over the next four months, you'll see 6,700 incomplete passes. The Football Outsiders database shows that a typical season includes 1,200 runs for no gain, 1,700 one-yard runs and almost 2,000 two-yard runs. For more boredom, how about 200 missed field goals, 2,400 punts, 200 touchbacks and over 500 fair catches?

You'll see about 4,300 penalties, 800 of them false starts, 600 offensive holding calls, 130 roughing the passer flags and over 200 defensive pass interference penalties, half of them against Quentin Jammer.

Finally, by the time they pry the remote from your lifeless hand in January, you'll have watched about 1,500 measurements for a first down, 3,500 reaction shots of the head coach on the sidelines, several thousand beer advertisements and a few hundred previews for 24 (a show you'll watch anyway) and War at Home (no comment). And you'll hear over 800 hours of announcer babble, three or four of which will be informative.

But thankfully, you'll only have to endure one Rascal Flats/P. Diddy concert
(taken from an article on FoxSports.com)

God, Thank you for creating such a wonderful & exciting game!! GO RAMS!!