I got this email from my mom and thought it was hilarious... She said it's something I should probably look forward to in the next 3 months... Enjoy!
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
DEAR TECH SUPPORT,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed adistinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.
DEAR DESPERATE,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus inthe background that will eventually seize control of all your systemresources.)Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
3 comments:
Personally, I'd recommend Barbecue Cups 2.5.
Oh, and I second the Hot Lingerie application.
See, right now, I have this thing that's called, "VBS followed by youth trip-itis" that is rendering it very hard for me to blog.
I have heard this before, but it's not any less funny the 2nd time you hear it! Sadly, I must admit that some of this is true, but Husband 1.0 comes with extra benefits and features that Boyfriend 5.0 would never be able to handle! :)
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