Good Ol' Thomas

In just 10 weeks, I will officially be a college graduate and a real DCE. I've waited so long for these moments to come that I'm not sure what to do after they are here. I pray everyday that I've made the right decision in a career choice, in staying in Alaska. I guess this is the Thomas coming out in me but sometimes I doubt those things and in turn doubt God. This week's Gospel lesson is all about Thomas the disciple truly doubting Christ's resurrection until he was able to put his hand in His side, his fingers in His nail-scarred hands.

I see so much of myself in Thomas it's sometimes scary. Even though I want to believe that God has led me to where I am and continues to lead me in the direction He wants me to go, even though I try everyday to give my life to Him for His doing, I find myself wanting that concrete evidence that I'm in the right place at the right time. And maybe I'm simply foolish or blind, but I don't see it. Perhaps I'm not looking hard enough... Perhaps I'm looking in the wrong places... Perhaps I just ought to STOP looking...

I have the most amazing friends in the world. Honest. I am the luckiest girl in the world. With the friends I have, I am confident they will always be there for me-- good and bad. And it's not only my friends from college that are there (even though they ARE wonderful folks!), I have a few select friends from high school who still care and who still stick around. And honestly, these friends, old and new, are more than that. They're family... in more ways than one. They ARE my brothers and sisters in mind, heart and spirit. They are my BROTHERS and SISTERS in Christ!

The more that I think about it, perhaps the concrete evidence I'm looking for are those people who are so dear to me. Afterall, they are the ones I run to, they are the ones who support me, they are the ones I love more than any thing else in the world... except for The One Person who has been here with me since "dirt was new" and "God was a boy". And that is the one thing I have never doubted-- I may doubt His control & guidance in my life, but I've never doubted His presence!

"Don't doubt in the dark, what you know in the light."