The 5 Stages of "When Harry Met Sally"

I don't know how many of you watch "House" but whenever it's on I have a difficult time turning it off. I love this show probably because of the mass amounts of sarcasm Dr. House uses... it's almost more than Jules' :) Anyway, on this week's episode, Dr House wrote the "5 Stages of Grief" out for his colleague to realize what she was going through with her patient (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.) And it hit me... this feeling of apathy I've been struggling with for the past few weeks isn't apathy at all-- it's anger. And last night, I seamlessly skipped the third and moved right onto the fourth stage...

So right now you're sitting there asking yourself, "What happened last night? Did she finally talk to David?" And the answer, my friends, is no. She didn't talk to him. But, she did watch "When Harry Met Sally", one of the greatest films of all time... and it turned out to be a bad idea. That movie single-handedly moved me from apathy/anger to depression. I identified myself as the Sally, who, at the end of the movie, is leaving the New Year's Eve party because she can't bear the thought of not being kissed at midnight by Harry. And that is where I basically stopped watching the movie simply because my own thoughts were racing through my head so fast they manifested themselves into tears and weeping.

I find myself wanted desperately to spend time-- any time-- with David. And when I finally get that chance, it's so painful to be in the room with him with all these things to say and never get the courage to say any of it. Then he leaves and I don't see him for a few days then it cycles around and around and around...

I realize I'm being a MAJOR DRAMA QUEEN about this whole situation and I thank God everyday for the friends that listen to me rant and rave and cry about it day in and day out. But my question now is this: Wouldn't it just be easier for me to suck it up until I reach the fifth and final stage of acceptance? Wouldn't life just be better for everyone if I finally started mourning this relationship instead of making things even more complicated and awkward by talking about it? I mean, he's leaving in 22 weeks... wouldn't it be easier to start the mourning process now?

Bottom line is I'm tired. Of everything. I'm tired of being like this. I'm tired of being in love with somebody I can't have. So, wouldn't it just be easier for me to give up the hope I've been holding on to?

To look at "5 Stages of Grief": http://www.counselingforloss.com/article8.htm