T minus 24 weeks

He signed the papers last week. He's officially leaving on February 21, 2006. So where does that leave me?

Good question. If you figure it out I'd like to know. Things between David and I have been interesting these past two months (see previous posts). I can honestly only tell you how I feel about things since I really don't know what's been going through his head. But here's the deal: we still hang out often enough. He still comes to my apartment. He still eats my food. He still buys me meals. He still takes me to Anchorage. He still cares about my opinion. So ultimately, I believe he's feeling the same things I am in regards to this relationship-- it's complicated and it sucks.

I've been meaning to talk to David for weeks now. Officially, I did talk to him about that Joshua Harris book and, though he wants to read it, he doesn't want to read it with me, which is understandable. But as far as the other things go-- what i want, what he wants, where this is going, what we're supposed to do for the next 6 months-- I haven't gotten the you-know-what to talk to him yet. How do you bring a subject like that up?
Jamie: "Hey David, are you happy with the way things are right now?"
David: "Why?"
Jamie: "Well I'm not. Just thought you should know."
It can either end there or it can continue in one of two ways--ONE:
David: "Good. I'm not either. Let's fix this."
Jamie: "Okay. How do we start?"
David: "Well, let's talk about what we want this to be."
Jamie: "Okay. I want blah blah blah"
David: "I want blah blah blah"
Jamie: "Oh good! We're on the same page now!"
David: "Finally" They kiss.
OR TWO:
David: "Oh well I'm fine with the way things are."
Jamie: "Oh..." David exits. Jamie cries.
And, honestly, I know he feels the same way I do and it's not that I want to be officially back together with him it's just that I want to be able to talk like we used to.

Have you ever wondered why things get so complicated? Perhaps things aren't complicated at all. Life is a pretty straightforward game to play yet most people are in complicated situations. Perhaps we're the ones who make life more complicated than it ought to be. No, we ARE the ones who make life complicated. Why do we do it? Why do we put ourselves through heartache and pain when that's not how God designed our lives to be? Damn free will. If it weren't for our stupid free will, I think we'd be much happier people. But could it be that simple? Is life really that simple? I mean this is God we're talking about here. He knows everything and thus could make things as complicated as he wants. So maybe life is supposed to be this complicated. Maybe heartache and pain is just a part of life that everyone has to endure... If you have it figured out, please let me know.